Remembering Chris Cornell ...

Today I was going to write a post about the fun Moods Of Norway party for Syttende Mai last night ... but then I woke up and heard the news that Chris Cornell was found dead. Right now I'm listening to all the Chris Cornell songs that I've loved over the years, and really can't wrap my head around that jarring news ... that we had lost this musical legend to suicide last night in Detroit. No. I just can't believe it. Right now he's singing a cover of Dolly Parton's "I Will Always Love You" ... and he's right. We will.

I loved Chris Cornell from the first time I heard his majestic voice singing with Soundgarden (the best band name ever) on a bootleg of Ultramega OK. Then came Louder Than Love, and then I saw what he looked like, and I was done. Madly in love. When Badmotorfinger came out and I heard "Outshined" and its perfect lyric, "I'm looking California, and feeling Minnesota", I thought sure the man was singing directly to me. I finally got to see Cornell sing live at Lollapalooza in 1992, and it nearly ruined me. I was crazy about him ... like friends would give me special magazines with him on the cover for my birthday. It was a well known crush.

I worked on the movie Feeling Minnesota that shot in Minnesota and starred Keanu Reeves, and I wore my Carhartt crew jacket with that logo around for years because it had that Soundgarden connection to it. I was a dork about Chris Cornell, ok? I remember hearing that when he cut off his trademark long curls, he had sent them in an envelope to his wife at the time, Susan Silver. I thought it was the most romantic thing ever, and loved him even more.

Then it came time to make the move, and both look and feel California. I made the move to Los Angeles, to go after my own dreams. I saw Soundgarden's last show at Universal Amphitheater (gone now too), touring for Down On The Upside, and it was transcendent. We couldn't believe they were breaking up when they were so awesome. Cornell then went solo, and his first solo album Euphoria Morning meant the world to me. My brother, Paul and I went to see his solo show at The Wiltern, and a kind security guy saw the adoration on my face, and escorted us down to two empty seats in like the third row. At one point, during a solo version of "Black Hole Sun" (one of my all time favorite songs ever), Cornell pointed right at Paul and I, and I think we both actually swooned. He was one of the guys that other guys wanted to be, and girls just wanted. It was a moment we both still remember.

Time marched on, friendships were made, and my world grew. I became friends with Tom Morello from Rage Against The Machine, and then Rage also broke up. Then one day Tom told me that they were forming a new band called Audioslave with Chris Cornell as the singer! No. WAY! I got an advance copy, unmixed and raw, of the self-titled Audioslave album, and I'm pretty much still sore from the dance party rager we had in Venice when we blasted that thing for the first time. The helicopter opening of "Cochise" and Cornell's vocals coming in ... it was POWERFUL. It was EXCITING. It was the best.

We saw many Audioslave shows, from out on Hollywood Boulevard in front of the Jimmy Kimmel show to the Long Beach Arena, all excellent and the best times ever. I was always way too timid about approaching Cornell, thinking I wouldn't hold it together, because it was CHRIS CORNELL. Tom had a party at his house one day and I was in the kitchen putting some dip in the oven, and was bent over with my butt out. Someone walked behind me and said, "Excuse me", and I turned around to see Chris Cornell smiling. He said, "Hi, I'm Chris" ... and I don't even think I even said anything back, maybe "Hi" - I was definitely fazed. By this time, he had a new French wife, and she was there too, so that was pretty much that, I never got to really flirt. I remember being disappointed that he was (always) wearing a Van Dutch tank top ... it just didn't seem like a thing for a grunge icon to wear, you know? Especially all the time. That, and his second solo album, seemed just cheesy. I never thought I'd think that! He'd lost a little of his luster to me, but he was still Chris Cornell, with the Stradivarius of all rock voices.

Then one day, Cornell left Audioslave, never even telling them why. After praising Tom as "his angel that had saved him" from the stage during a show. After a historic show in Cuba. No warning, just gone. That tainted him further for me, as Tom was a good friend, and I felt deserved better than that. I went on tour with Tom for his solo "Justice Tour" as The Nightwatchman. Cornell's ex-wife, Susan, was along on the tour, as one of the only other women along. I got a nearly fatal spider bite in New Orleans, and by the time I dealt with it in Boston, it was really bad. Susan was there for me. She was and is a wonderful, exceptional woman, and I couldn't believe how cold Cornell now appeared to be toward her and their daughter, Lily. I remember - especially today - how I stood next to Susan as Shooter Jennings sang the Cornell lyrics on Audioslave's "I Am The Highway", and tears filled her eyes. I felt her pain that day, and I feel it again today. Susan returned my email of deepest sympathy today, saying, "It is the words of kindness and support that get us through this darkest hour." That is always true ... It's just such an incredible loss - and once again, so unnecessary. No one knows what someone is going through inside, and it's so important just to love everyone WHILE we have them ... not in retrospect.

I saw Soundgarden at The Wiltern in 2013 with Perry Farrell and his wife, Etty. By now, I'd been on tour with Jane's Addiction the previous Summer, and had become good friends with the Farrells. Perry knew that Etty and I LOVED some Chris Cornell, and hooked it up, even though they didn't seem to be particularly close. There had long been rumors that "Jesus Christ Pose" was about Perry (in that one famous picture posing on a bed), and that didn't really sit well. We entered The Wiltern in a cool VIP way that you drive under the theater and park below. We had seats in the balcony, and the show was great, of course, but there seemed to be a little lounge act schtick in Cornell's stage banter. It was hard to have thoughts of him that were anything less than adulatory, but ... we left early. I regret that today, for sure. (The show was filmed for The Artist's Den, so I did see it all back home).

I last saw Chris Cornell singing on stage this past January at the Anti-Inaugural Ball thrown by the Prophets Of Rage on Inauguration Day. He was a special surprise guest, and when he came out to the opening chords of "Cochise" ... the place literally went crazy. I went crazy.

It looked as though all had been forgiven, and all the Audioslave guys were together on stage again, hugging, smiling, and most importantly ROCKING. It seemed like Cornell had found a new peace, with his wife and children, and even Soundgarden back together and touring again. Then last night he ended the Soundgarden show in Detroit with a song not on the set list, a cover of Zeppelin's "In My Time Of Dying". It looks like this was a planned exit ... that no one can even begin to understand or believe. It's too awful. It's too massive. It's simply heartbreaking.

There have been some massive losses in music in recent times, and I cried this morning when I heard the cover of Cornell singing Prince's "Nothing Compares 2 U". Nothing will ever compare to either of these musical angels.

Thank you for your life and music, Chris. You and your songs will never be forgotten. I'm so sorry for your pain. Rock in Peace.

Overreaction

It's been a marvelous, glistening winter so far in Venice, hasn't it? There is no better place to realize this fact than at the beach each morning. We exchange smiles and waves with the regular people every day, all of feeling extra blessed/blissed, seen clearly on our faces.

Yesterday's glorious stroll was interrupted by total mayhem. The tractor sand mover things were out rumbling the ground beneath our feet, super noisy. This is a harbinger of spring, however, as they were plowing down the giant sand berms that protect the homes in winter. So bad/good.

Then the most gigantic yacht I've ever seen was parked out a little beyond the Venice Pier, belching smoke out its stacks and demanding to be gawked at. Obnoxious. (It's still there).


Heading back north, we were just about to cross under the Venice Pier when a LAPD chopper began flying low out toward the yacht. Were they terrorists? Were they drug kingpins? What was going on?!

Then cop cars began FLYING down the Venice pier, scattering pedestrians and fishermen as they sped past. I've never ever seen this before, and it was kind of alarming. Cops spilled out of their cars at the end of the pier, and we watched from the sand as a body jumped into the water. It was like watching the movie Falling Down.


The cops and the people lining the pier all stared down into the water as LAPD and Lifeguard boats sped to the scene, Firetrucks wailed their arrival, and stand up paddle boarders rowed up to get a better look. Through it all, the surfers kept surfing.

We began to get that the big yacht had nothing to do with the scene, and that someone was busted or fell. Whatever the case, as usual, it seemed that there were too many resources being wasted on one incident. Especially when I found out later via Yo Venice (we had to get a move on in our day) that it was all for an 80 year old man, in what seemed to be a suicide attempt. Sad. Both that he wanted to end it all, but also that such a huge scene was made over it, when it would appear to be a very private choice. If you had seen the speed that the cop cars raced down the pier with, you could only be happy that no one else was hurt, as the pier is not very wide at all. Super macho, LAPD. We're impressed. (The body I saw drop in was a tourist that jumped in to help rescue the guy. One guy seemed able to handle it all. One.)

I hope the elderly gentleman is ok, that his people have shown up to love him, and that he can find peace and privacy. I also hope we can all cool it with the overreaction to stuff these days, and save the drama for the big stuff.

Never a dull moment, Venice.



*Pics by Jennifer Everhart